Words

Lately, I've been thinking that words are like money in the sense that we can either foolishly waste them or hoard them like misers. As a writer, I love to play with words but I admit that I am often guilty of using twenty words when a few would do just fine. I attribute that to the fact that I am the second youngest in a family of five girls and often got lost in the shuffle of my big noisy clan when I was growing up. You had to use a lot of words before anyone would pay attention to you. I did learn that funny words were acknowledged, so it didn’t take long for me to assume the role of the family clown. I could be pretty darn funny when I wanted to be heard.

When I hang around my two year old grand niece, Zae, I am reminded that sometimes less is more. She can fully convey a meaning and get all of her needs met with a few choice words.

“Bunny!” she commands when she wants me to read her favorite bed time story. When I make an animal noise to amuse her, she wrinkles her nose and levels me with an appraising stare before voicing her approval, “You bein’ funny!” Sometimes she will abandon words all together and simply grab me by the legs and push me towards the kitchen when she wants a snack. The loving adults in Zae’s life are constantly encouraging her to use her words, but personally, I enjoy her adorable though primitive communication methods. Soon enough, she’ll probably be using her words to argue and talk back.

Few of us realize much less appreciate the full scope of our innate creativity. Our words are the artist's tools that enable us to create a unique and authentic life. Just a single word can be incredibly effective.  The word “Yes” can open up new opportunities, just as the word “No” can block us from realizing our full potential. When Zae’s older brother Kai was two, he often used the time honored Socratic method to stimulate profound discussions simply by asking “Why?”

Words combined with powerful emotions can actually affect the molecular structure of water. (Check out Dr. Masuru Emoto’s groundbreaking work in “The Hidden Messages in Water”) Words of gratitude can  keep us focused on our blessings in the face of adversity while worry and negativity serve to bog us down in a perspective of lack. Careless words spoken in the heat of the moment have been known to cause long standing family rifts. Just as damaging are the unspoken words which so often can lead to hidden resentment and false assumptions. And let us not forget the power of those three little words that we all long to hear, "I love you!"

We are all taught to speak, but rarely are we taught how to listen. One of the most loving and compassionate things we can do is to give an individual the benefit of our full attention when he/she needs to be heard. As a chaplain working in a hospital setting, I’ve learned that there are some situations in which words are useless. At those times, an empathetic touch or a look can convey more comfort than a thousand words.

No matter what language we speak, the ability to communicate our thoughts and words is a huge responsibility and a gift which we mostly take for granted once we get past our early childhood. Learning how to use words is really not all that different from learning how to handle money. The trick is to know how to spend them wisely and when to save them up for a rainy day.

The Year of the Slug

One evening, shortly after New Year’s Eve,  I arrive at my fitness club only to find that virtually every life cycle, elliptical, treadmill and StairMaster has been commandeered by sweating Lycra clad fitness buffs all sprouting ear buds. There is a long line of people impatiently waiting for  the next open machine extending all the way from the locker room.  A frazzled staff member with a plastic grin tattooed on his face is standing at the head of the line in an attempt to discourage a stampede. I sigh and make my way past the grumbling crowd to the weight machines upstairs, hoping that at least I can get in some stomach crunches.  It’s this way every year. There seems to be a tsunami of people who might have indulged just a little too much during the holidays, then over-compensate by making well-meaning resolutions to get back into shape. By February, the numbers drop off, the gym gets back to normal and the regulars who have been working out all year get it back to themselves again.

 While I applaud the good intentions of those determined souls who are brimming with new resolve, I believe that it goes against our basic instincts as mammals to be so frenetically active during a time when we should be holed up in our caves. Speaking for myself,  I just don’t have it in me to introduce a new habit into my schedule when all I want to do is curl up in front of the fire and snooze with my kitties.  After the holiday frenzy, I normally feel sluggish and unmotivated but  justify my lethargy by making the case that I'm simply giving into a natural inclination.  When I look outside, the backyard  is brown and still  as if nature has hit the pause button until the warm breezes start encouraging growth and productivity again.   I reason that I am a human being, not a human doing and the long cold nights provide me with the perfect excuse to withdraw and just be.

 This is a time to be still-- to cultivate a nurturing internal environment in which the seeds of my dreams can percolate and flourish before beginning to sprout; it is a time to regroup, to replenish,  to reflect on all that has transpired during the last twelve months; the perfect time to spend a  leisurely morning or two in bed watching chickadees at the bird feeder while reading journal entries from years past to track how far I’ve progressed, or to detect any old patterns of behavior that I might want to correct.

 My hat is off to those individuals who ritualize the beginning of the new year with firm resolutions to become their  best and sleekest selves. I bow to anyone who finds the motivation to organize a closet or clean out the basement when I can only seem to find more excuses to put off taking down the Christmas tree.   Call me weird, but I prefer to make my annual resolutions in October, around my birthday, because it is so much easier to make a fresh start at a time of year when I imagine that the warm blue days and flaming autumn colors are applauding my resolve.